The novelty and the achievement was complete but we still had two days of hiking before we completed our trek.We had travelled all the way up the peak and our bodies were dead beat.
This part of the journey was laborious and exhausting, something we had not imagined at all.



The snow storm drove us back. We started the descent in a hurry with hail stones pelting us from all directions. It was beautiful to be at that altitude witnessing the raw power of nature. But we had no time to pause and enjoy the beauty, we had to rush and head back.


The rocks and boulders were slippery, and we were all weak, weary and feeling debilitated. We had a long descent ahead of us.

Going down was slow and all our knees were throbbing. We all fell several times. Our legs had given way and most of the time, we had no control. The legs would just not listen to what the brain was saying. Stumbling, tumbling, falling face down, picking ourselves up in the excruciating cold and pain.


This time around, the prayers had changed to talking to the hideous dastardly rocky terrain of the mountain. Personally I was angry with the rocks, and almost swore at them at every single step. We were upset that there was no shortcut to the camp.

Descending the rocks that seemed to stretch on and on felt like a punishment, we were doing it the second time and we were indeed battered.

Everywhere we found snow, we slid down the slopes. That was a lot of fun! We crashed into smaller rocks and each other, braking and cutting speed was like braking a rally car in top speed.


The backsides froze and after sliding the cold bit us back quite literally. I recall removing the gloves to eat lunch and our hands burned due to the cold. It took just a few minutes and the palms were frozen.


We lost our way and the guides could hardly see ahead.  To us every thing looked just the same from all sides. It was extremely hazy and even the experts who climbed this peak so often were confused.



We had gotten  off the wrong side of the mountain which added a few extra miles to the campsite.  I recall feeling upset that we had to walk more,  we were not really concerned about losing the way, we were so sure of the guides.  Hiking a few extra miles made us feel devastated!

Our minds again surrendered to the negative thoughts. I imagined I had a ligament tear or fractured knees with all the falls and scaling the rocks. The pressure on your hands and legs is immense. A co trekker had severe altitude sickness and the  nausea meant she didn't enjoy most part of the journey. The boys had shoes bites and spirits were low.



If the ascent took us 6-7 hours the descent took us longer. None of us had realised that climbing down could be taxing. Yash the youngest in our group was so tired, every two minutes he only asked,  how much longer to the campsite. I dont know why I had the notion in my head that climbing down would be a breeze, when actually with the legs and knees already tired it was agonizing.

Reaching campsite felt like a home coming that we were looking forward too.



The next day we were to reach the base and the only thing we told the guides was not to take us on the rocks again.


As we started descending with our backpacks, a big blow that hit us was, climbing down adds more pressure on the knees than climbing up.

We were in a trance and walked like zombies.  Laughing and crying at everything that we had shared. That was the only way to make the long descent pleasant.

A Co trekker was badly injured and was finding it hard to even take a few steps. We all pitched in. The able bodied guide carried the injured all the way down on his back.  The others carrying the baggage and backpack.

I must admit that though we were all weary and weak,  to an extent we were unable to understand or empathise what the fellow trekker was going through. I am sure that person did feel emotionally left out even though physically we were present and supportive.


The beautiful walk through the thick mountain and villages should have taken 3 hours,  but we took 7 and felt it took 12 hours.Suddenly the rains doused us in their splendour and we again forgot every pain we had.

I needed a lot of help and support at every step, the guides and my co trekkers were present all along with a lending hand, which helped me get through.

We were ecstatic when we reached the point where we would get picked up by our cab. We were indeed happy and thrilled to be back and "connected" with our loved ones.

For a month after we returned climbing up and down the stairs of my home and going on my regular walks was pure agony!

What I learned


Climbing high may be tough,  but the climb down is never going to feel as good. Ever!
I  include the slide from any kind of success too in this.Never underestimate the power of your mind to either allow or disallow you to do anything.

The mind succumbs to everything you feed it, positive thoughts and you will feel energized, negative thoughts and you may still get through.  But you would not enjoy what you did.  Not one bit.

The mind plays tricks,  yield to what benefits you.It is possible to persevere and do something as long as you are passionate about it.

Being away at the mountains or any place that you enjoy and can find solitude in helps you rediscover yourself.

All of us who signed up challenged ourselves and did something different, we ventured into the unknown and while the journey was not smooth, it was an experience of a lifetime and we are yearning for it again.



The descent

If you did something extraordinary, pat yourself. :)

A fresh bath, some fragrant suds and fresh cotton clothes felt like nirvana at the end.

The next is mission Bhutan - on a trek and not the usual tourism stint.

Ciao until my next blog.

Pangarchulla Peak

When Ammu and I were choosing the location of our trek, we were enamored by the description of the Pangarchulla Trek. The difficulty level said Moderate Plus. We spoke to a few people and the organizers, who advised us to build stamina by walking and exercising.

We knew it was going to be difficult, and were determined to make it to the top. We started early and walked/jogged for more than an hour everyday with the trekking boots(heavy).
We even wore them to work every day to break them in.We did think it would be a comfortable yet maybe taxing hike for us.


The first two days at the Himalayas, we got used to the ascent and descent.  Our bodies got acclimatized to the mountains, the weather, the food and everything else around us.

The day we were to summit, we were awakened at 4:00am and were all set to leave by 4:30am. A bowl of hot Dahlia porridge was served to us and we were not really bothered about brushing or washing up in the stinging weather.

We carried water and some trail food we could eat on the way.

The sun rises early on the mountains and the very soon we gave up our torches and let the sun guide us. We could see the peak ahead of us and it did not seem like it would take long to get there or even to scale it.

We were enthusiastic, we talked about the several people that we saw, who told us they couldn't make it to the peak due to the weather,stamina or low levels of fitness. We told each other, we were prepared and would make it to the top.

As we began the steep ascent, we started to get tired, it was frosty and we were finding it hard to scale the mountains.

In a few hours we got to the base of the peak, we were joyous since the journey appeared short and Pangarchulla seemed to be so close by.

Our joys were short lived, the next few hours from the base to the peak were excruciatingly painful and tedious. We were scaling, rocks, boulders, rocks, boulders and more rocks and boulders with a lot of snow as well. Some of the trekking poles bent or even broke due to the pressure on them while climbing the rocks. It had rained, the rocks were slippery and I did feel like I was a child learning to walk. Stumbling and losing balance often.

Just a sample of the rocks

The only way to go was to clamber up a boulder and come down, climb another and down the next one. The rocks were wet, the weather dreary and pessimism started to set in all of us. The mind wandered and we felt tired. It seemed like the rocks would never end, there were just everywhere, all around us and no plain land in sight. It was depressing to see miles and miles and miles of these rocks around us.

All I felt like doing, was to lie down and sleep. The guides kept pushing us, not even letting us rest for more than a few minutes, since it is indeed easy to fall asleep, yet very dangerous given the weather and the altitude. We just had to continue hiking, there was no allowance for pausing or resting.

We were overjoyed to look at the snow, stepping in carefully, yet there were several times, when we would find ourselves waist deep in snow, laughing or crying in pain, whilst the others were pulling us up.

My knees had given way and were wobbly and bone tired. Every step was ridden with pain, and a small prayer with every step was what helped me make it. For a while I wondered if I had really needed to do this? I berated myself for having thought about and for having signed up for something like this, knowing that the journey would be arduous, yet wanting to do it.

I even thought I would never again leave my beloved family and children and embark on such an expedition. There was no family to talk to, just the people we met couple of days ago.

At 4600 metres, closer to the peak, we were jaded and fatigued. The weather was inclement. I gave up. I had no energy nor inclination to go further. The last 100 metres were beckoning, and I felt, I was done with climbing. I was the oldest in the group, with everyone around me atleast 10-15 years younger. (Yes indeed, and I do feel ancient at times !!!)

My co trekkers would not let me give up. They egged me on and said, come on "Di" let us do it, how can we do it without you. Lets show the world what stuff you are made of! Inspirited, I agreed and we started the ascent of the last 100 metres. Holding each other, we set off to conquer the peak.

100 metres and about 20 minutes from the peak, we were impacted by a snow storm. The visibility dipped to zero, and I could not even see the guide standing two feet away. The magnitude of the storm so high, that we could not capture pictures of us on the peak. It was a complete haze and there was no leeway to get the cameras out.

In light of safety, the guides decided that it was best to head back before the storm intensified.

We had no choice but to comply and let go of what was within our sight and reach.

The physical hardship we endured was not easy on the bodies used to the comforts of an urban life. Mentally it was a test of resilience, will power, adaptability, the ability to let go among other things.

Putting it simply here are some of the things I learned

You may think you are well prepared, yet the best preparation may not help you at the time of need.

Letting go, many a time you don't have an option but to let go, no matter how much you dislike that.

The mind wanders and negative thoughts can erode every single belief of yours in a matter of seconds

Prayers work, and that is what kept me going, even though my body had given up.

Baggage - metaphorically and physically just dump everything that you can, you dont really need most of the stuff you carry.

The entire hike was an experience that I will cherish forever. Do I want to sign up for another such expedition - "Of Course Yes", I would love to be back in the mountains. I feel at home and at peace with myself, when I connect with nature.

The ascent was just half the journey, the descent was demanding.

Until my next blog on "The Descent"
CIAO


Photo Courtesy - Ankush Balar

I wanted to pack my trekking boots and put them away.

I looked at the sole to see if it needed cleaning, to my surprise the sole was shining. The Himalayan soil is so rich in minerals, that the rocks, boulders and the soil were lustrous. A beautiful sight, I could just not have enough of the glittering rocks that we saw on our expedition. 





To my mind, my soul appeared polished too! For a lot of the dust and gravel from my life until now was given up to be a part of this expedition.

Going back...

We started the trek at 7:30 am on a pleasant Sunday morning from Auli which is the skiing destination of India. The lawns looked well manicured and looking at the green carpet albeit the snow made us cheerless.There has been no snowfall here in the last two years.

As we made our way up the slopes, the grass plot laid out seemed perfect. We were in wonder of the mountains surrounding us. Our eyes soaking and taking in every bit of the ascent. The weather played peek a boo, while we were warm when we started, just a a few minutes later we found ourselves walking amidst the clouds. A fabulous feeling that we would experience several times.

The lawns at Auli opened onto a wonderful pine forest, the view was stunning and unexpected.

I shared 600 plus pictures of the Himalayan Trek with my best friend forever and she replied with just one thing."The Bonhomie" is evident. You look so happy and beautiful and relaxed.

True that.




People who know me well, know that while I am an amicable person, mingle around with several, I generally do not take initiative to make new friends or let new people into my life. Know that asking me to meet at a mall or a crowded place is a disaster, since I will just not do it.

They know that a long drive, nature,a grove, a farmhouse, a trek are some of my favorite things.

In all excitement I signed up for the trek and post that every single day there was one thing that I wished for. That we got a nice group accompanying us on the trek and that I would enjoy the company of these new people, whom I was apprehensive about.


GIO didnt really share with us details of the co trekkers, we only knew there were 3 males joining the same expedition. We were to take a cab drive of ten hours to the start of the trekking location together. 

I recall asking the representative from GIO how old the "three males" were and where they were from. Amrita my fellow trekker could have died of embarrassment at that moment. I then told her, look we take the last seat in the Xylo, so we dont have to share the seat with the newcomers and if we do not like them we can stay out of making small time conversations.

07;30am @Haridwar on 7th May, we saw 3 boys join us on our vehicle. A quick look at them, they seemed decent, rich and full of life.

We knew we would have fun. I mumured a silent Thank You for my wish of good company being answered.

So here are the characters



Yash - the naughty guy with  supreme wit and the ability to crack a joke with a poker straight face.

Aadit - the good looking bugger, who was a keen observer of "beauty" well, mostly his own!

Ankush - the Sensible , sober buddy, who carried the aura of  "Why fear when I am here"

Amrita - Like the missing sister of Yash. We could have had a competition of "Who can use more expletives in one sentence". Completely detail oriented she left no stone upturned with the nitty gritty of our trip.

As the journey unfolded, the bonhomie was innate. Right from the beginning of the car ride. 

We dealt with hunger, motion sickness, sleep, missing barbie pillows, romantic music to noisy beats, an over smart driver, stopping for pictures and much more. The bond seemed natural and we were at ease with each other.

We found ourselves, falling ,laughing, failing to pick up the fallen since we were laughing that hard! Collecting logs for the bonfire, accompanying each other to the "Cathole" at night, huddling together by the bonfire with stories of ghosts.

Playing Chinese whispers, truth or dare, rock climbing, rapelling, shouting out for the others in the tents next door when we heard them fidgeting about in the sleeping bags.

Waking each other up, picking out the forbidden cauliflower from the pakoras, going dizzy with mountain sickness and drinking garlic ginger water - It was distasteful and smelly but it helped.

We nudged each other through the ups and downs, through the stream and rivers, through the cold and the heat. Sometimes stopping for the one who was tired, many a time pushing the other and saying you could do it. Sharing food, laughter, spirits , pictures and the pains. Oh yes we did about 50 kms of ascending and descending in 4 days, we scaled rocks and rocks and rocks, it seemed like the mountains were alive and teasing us to do it. The rocks seemed never ending. 

Lending a hand to the one who needed help, keeping pace with the one who was slower, taking the bag of a fellow tired trekker, carrying two bags sometimes.

The guides Abhishek, Jagat and Dishu Bhai too were with us at very step. 

We felt like a family with a common goal and objective. We were happy to haul each other up at every step and wait nonetheless. Unique needs of every one took a backseat, we were in it together. We wanted to get to the peak together.

This is what helped us make it to the summit and then back down to camp as well. The descent took us about longer than we thought and caused more pain than we imagined.

I must talk about the fetter that the 3 boys shared. It seemed well orchestrated, except that there was no maestro here. Everything was discussed and done in consultation with the other. Logical arguments were accepted and they stood up for each other without hesitation, right or wrong did not matter.





Looking at them took me back to manifold instances where I shared/continue to share the Bonhomie.

@ School writing poetry about the teachers and giving them nicknames

@ Mount Carmel College working together for the college fests,staying overnight,watching the fashion parade and of course teasing the men who dared to enter the gates of Carmel. Riding triples on my scooter, escaping from the cops.

@MBA - Bunking together, group studies with the boys and girls in the "Ladies Room", or so it was called when it had a transparent door and only housed all our blazers !!!

@ Commercial Street - shopping with my besties, bargaining for deals

@work -  the laughter we share ..the entertainment we provide to the outsiders in the elevator

@ home with my other half....and my children and family.

Even today with the few that I connect with despite not being in touch for several years, meeting my besties from across the world feeling like the same old "Tapori" gang. 

The time, the distance, the years, divergent backgrounds, differing interests, contrast in age and gender do not matter and the connection is seamless.Smooth like it was meant to be.

Here are some favorite pictures..from the recent times

"The Beasts of Burden"

It started with the Shopping... like always..

We were excited and raring to go. The two month wait post booking seemed like an eternity that just would not end.

We had ample time to think,plan, to shop, to shop ...and shop more.

We were quite driven by the modern urban "civilized" people that we are and hence hygiene and smelling fresh in the mountains appeared to be a basic necessity. In went our favorite creams and moisturizers, wet wipes and spare clothes and sweaters and stoles, shawls and floaters, flip flops etc.

For some reason, we believed that we needed to carry food (yeah right! the service provider had clearly mentioned 6 meals a day) and so went in the sattu ke paranthe, dry fruits, chiwda, mixture, khakras, protein bars, mint etc.

Medicines, well we could have treated an entire village for the common ailments, if you know what I mean!

At the end of our packing we felt quite accomplished and satisfied at having ensured everything that we needed was packed.

If you have watched the movie "Wild" you would know how Renee Russo stumbled over backwards while picking up her trekking bag. 

We were almost there, and the 60L bags were full to the brim and we had slings for other "stuff". 

3:00 am on D Day and hubby dear helped me with the bag. He couldn't help but remark, how the bag weighed and looked heavier and bigger than me and asked if I really thought I could scale a mountain with that kind of weight on me.

I must admit it seemed impossible to me as well.

Upon reaching Auli the Eco Lodge from where we were to begin the trek, we dumped baggage. consolidated the medicines, chucked the extra clothes, kept one kit of essentials like sunscreen and viola, weren't we proud? The bags weighed 3-4 kgs lower than earlier.

Feeling quite glad, we started the ascent to realize that, we had a lot to carry. The weight yet managed to bog us down.

It was warm and suddenly in a few minutes we were cold and needed gloves as well. It could rain with no notice, the sun playing peek a boo with the clouds and the rain.

The weather was like the emotions. Sometimes warm, sometimes cold, sometimes unbearable, sometimes pleasant. Ever changing though. The mind also played tricks and games along with the weather and the ascent brought some strange scenes back to life and memory. Some refreshing, some repulsive.

In truth the physical baggage we were carrying suggested the emotional baggage as well.

We reached camp by the evening and we were frozen, quite literally with the heavy bags and the weather. Our ideas of freshening up were dissipated as even sipping water was extremely cold. We focused on collecting logs for a bonfire without which we would have been icicles.

Some more stuff from the bags was shed at the camp site. The extra clothes were given up to embrace the reality that we would be unable to bathe or clean up with water in the cold. Changing clothes too was unnecessary since we were wearing a minimum of 5 layers.

And this was when the bags became light. The physical and the mental. The onward journey now seemed pleasant and enjoyable. 

I recalled what my better half and family told me about just enjoying the experience and not worrying about home and family.

At that moment I told myself, "Let Go" and all will be well. 

That is when there existed no load in the mind and on the body. I knew that I had to surrender myself to the present and reality and forget about every other part of my life.

They would cope and did cope wonderfully well, in my absence, the only difference being in me.

Brought me to the question, what is all the baggage that I am carrying that stops me from enjoying my journey of life. What is it that I don't want to let go, that makes me unhappy?

Not having any connectivity for 4-5 days at a stretch made me miss my family, but I was not anxious about them. Not knowing what my children were doing, how everyone was coping, did bother me initially.

However being away in the luxury of nature and away from everyone and everything familiar to me, helped me cope. I was living my dream, surrounded by majestic snow covered peaks, walking between the clouds, sleeping right under the stars, drinking water off the streams, listening to every wish of mine come true. 

Pangarchulla Peak @ 4700 mtrs

Gorson Meadows

 I knew if I had to enjoy what I had craved to do, I had to LET GO.

Sometimes...hmm many a time in life you have no option but to let go. No option but to go away, no option but to accept the reality, no option but to take the route you have chosen to take.

Carrying unneeded trappings only makes the journey arduous and unpleasant.  

Pangarchulla Peak - The Himalayan Summit that we chose for the Himalayan Expedition.

A friend asked me yesterday, what really was my motivation to sign up for a trek and summit of this nature. For a moment I was stumped. I realized I hadn't asked myself the question.

In jest I reacted stating "I just had to get away, from my routine, my daily grind, my children, my husband, family, friends and just about everything around me and me myself". The answer didn't appear genuine or convincing even to me! Well, I thought at best the trek would give me a break from the mundane.

Amrita and I who went on the expedition actually were planning on a joint vacation. The better half was indisposed and could not take off from work. Another colleague heard about the vacation planning spoke to us about the Hampta Pass Trek. 

And that is where it began. We searched and searched and looked up several service providers, websites, blogs and pictures. 

Every time we looked and we read, we were completely drawn in. It seemed like the mountains were talking to us, beckoning us to come and experience the magic. Every trail with the fascinating pictures and stunning descriptions appeared so real and for the moments that we would read them, it felt like wonderland. It felt like we were present in the Himalayas and existed on those trails.

The Rhododendron trees with their blooming flowers, the meadows, the rocks, the snow capped peaks tempted us to soak in their magnificence.

Being surrounded by the majestic Himalayas was a feeling that we could not shake off. I was living the dream, walking, talking, in my head imagining myself there, surrounded by the vastness and the aura of the mountains. 

The husband saw the spark in the eye and goaded me to sign up. 

The lure was insurmountable. The yearning to be there so strong, that every feeling of control, guilt, self control, fact that it was not an easy task, leave approvals and pure logic was discarded and we signed up. 

At 4700 meters, Pangarchulla peak is beyond the halfway mark of Mount Everest. Novices we only had some beautiful local treks up our sleeves, not much to brag about yet decent - Agumbe, Kudremukh, Coorg, Sakleshpur. Shola Forests and the like. 

As I write I am still looking for an answer to the "Why"? 

Some reasons come to my mind, I love to travel, genetically I am inclined to be adventurous, I am not fond of crowds so the serene settings would be something I love, its a big break, it is something I can brag about, it is a test of my will power and stamina, lets see if the children can cope minus me? The views are stunning, a once in a lifetime experience, meet new like minded people..blah blah and blah blah.

Besides these reasons, I think I finally found "ME" with a voice and a will to do something that connected with me deep down.

The me that had layers of commitments - Mother, Wife, Daughter, Daughter in law, a Friend, Soulmate, Agony Aunt, A Working professional and what not? The "ME" who had issues leaving my children for a few hours, the"Me" who could not say NO when I wanted to, The "ME" who had become the epitome of goodness and lived upto every expectation, The "ME" who did things that I did not want to do, the "ME" who attended social obligations just because I had to, The "ME" who complied.

I know a lot of men and women who are like this"ME". 

I was lucky to have my family stand by me Rock solid and say go ahead , explore,

To everyone out there who connects with the "ME". 

I am a believer in faith and the law of attraction. 

Since my childhood days I have been known as one of the most positive and optimistic person around most people.

Witnessing the Ganga Aarti at Har Ki Pauri in Haridwar was mystical. I was amazed to witness such fervor and faith in such a large mass of people. There were a zillion people gathered to perform the sacred Ganga Aarti.






Infants, old people, youngsters, physically challenged people, Tamilians, Rajasthanis , Gujaratis,Sikhs, Maharastrians, Kannadigas, The Rich and famous, the poorest of the poor, the healthy, the infirm, the families and bachelors, parents with children, the ones waiting for children, people from several countries across the world congregated to partake in this event . 

United in one language. The language of Prayer, or the Language of Faith.

All taking a dip in the Holy Ganges, asking for blessings and asking for their sins to be washed away, so they could lead a better life ahead.
                                                                          

The entire experience was magical, mystical and left me in awe. It was pure faith that we got to see. While the local Pandits (some bandits too, adept at fleecing the naive and the new comer!) made you chant verses for the well being of your family members.

The mass chanting of prayers reminded me of a statement that someone had once told me, if a large number of people wish and pray for the same thing, they will attract it into reality. At that time though, I did not have the maturity to receive that message, but today wiser after several such experiences, I teach my children too to believe in the power of Faith.

With the heat in Bangalore soaring and making everyone uncomfortable, I did tell my 5 and 7 year old to ask the Rains to bless us, while thanking the Sun for life. Within a week of their prayers, there were showers in Bangalore, their astonishment at the rain and the joy on their faces made me smile. 

It is indeed a gargantuan effort that every parent has to make to switch from the traditional upbringing of "fear driven consequences" to "faith driven reality". I am no exception to the rule and sometimes the fear driven approach works faster and is more convenient to adapt to.

To quote a few instances from my own life,

FEAR

I am not fond of dogs. Infact I think I despise them, Most times when I step out on a walk by the lake or in the park, or just within the colony, I find myself accosted by a bunch of angry dogs.Today it was a pack of 6 dogs that were menacingly close to me with their canines and tongues jutting out.Their snarls and intimidating growls making me screech, scream and Shake with fear. I climbed onto a car parked close by to save myself from the dogs. In hindsight I provided entertainment to the residents, who were quite surprised to see me climbed atop a car.

Such things do not seem to happen to the others who walk on the same paths. When I walk with my better half, the same dogs seem to just purr and go minding their own business.

It is indeed my fear and my antagonism towards the canines that attracts such violent actions from them.

The first time that I took my Bike to college, I was riding in fear of what would happen if something went wrong, It did and I had a big fall, lucky to have escaped with a few bruises.

FAITH

As a very hands on mother "I like" to believe that I have to be around my children as much as I can and do everything that I can for them. Signing up for the Himalayan trek for 8 days was a test of my ability to trust, to have faith and to let go. The children were absolutely fine and did not even ask for me when I had no connectivity for few days.

During my studies, Maths was a subject I feared the most, thinking I would fail in the board exams in Maths. True to that I managed to just scrape through in maths.  

However when I was preparing for my CAT/GMAT, I realized that I actually enjoyed Maths and the challenging questions. I cleared GMAT with flying colours and there was no looking back at Maths after that.

When I applied for a dream job, there was no anxiety, just the faith that what was best for me at that time would flow through, and it would flow with ease. It did and today I am grateful and thankful for everything that job is giving me.

A friend's son broke his right hand just before the 12th Boards, the usually anxious friend had faith that all would be well, and that they would get a good scribe to write the exams. Today she stands tall and proud to say that her son has scored a whopping 90%.

My wish for myself and for everyone around me 

"Let my faith be bigger than my fear"